Britney Spears, after a year or so of trying to figure out the United State’s uber hard seatbelt laws is giving up and moving to Namibia, Africa.

During the wide ranging interview, Ms. Spears denied rumors that her husband of twenty-one months, Kevin Federline, is living in their basement. She also said repeatedly that she is a “good mom,” despite the fact that she was photographed driving her SUV with her son, Sean Preston, sitting on her lap.

“I did it with my dad,” said Ms. Spears. “I’d sit on his lap and I’d drive. We’re country.”  

What else did you do with your dad while sitting on his lap, trash? 

Good luck driving around.. I hope you read the Safe Driving Guide to Namibia. 

Ms. Spears also said that Namibia reminds her of California “because it’s on the ocean and there’s lots of sand. So if Sean Preston fell off his swing and landed on his head, there’s less chance he would be hurt and we’d have those snoops from child welfare up our butts all the time.”  

There may be sand, princess, but there are also African Wild Cats, Black-backed jackals, bat-eared foxes, cheetahs, leopards, lions, hyenas and wild dogs, as well as baboons and monkeys, any of which would gladly eat some baby who’s country bumkin’ mom will probably won’t watch as well as a good mom would…  Plus, I’m sure there are rebels around somewhere… aren’t there always?

Finally, said Ms. Spears, “I heard that Namibia has laws that let celebrities say whether or not journalists are allowed in the country. That’s so important, even more important than getting the same villa that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had.”

Ha, if they asked Angelina Jolie about you moving to Namibia, she would say, “Who?”