I think you should say “beer,” in quotation marks, because whatever the hell that is you’re holding is not real beer, but could instead replace real beer in case of an emergency; or, better yet, it could, absent other options, be used as cooking beer (like when boiling bratwurst) just as some wines are made stictly for cooking, because of their inability to stand on their own as a beverage. Furthermore, perhaps you could use this “beer” when filming a movie about horses, like a scene when you need horse urine but have none because the horse has peed too many times in previous shots.

dude, that’s a huge backyard. i would be scared to live near a forest. too many crazies could come out of the woodwork and kill you.

I sat on your deck and had a beer and watched fireworks saturday night….you were not there.