It’s solved! Democratic race prediction: Neither Hillary Clinton nor Barack Obama will win

In Denver, the Democratic superdelegates, like the unelected elites they are, will gather in great worry, maybe after an inconclusive first round of general balloting.

And these big names will pick not the best candidate nor the one with the most delegates or, actually, any delegates or any popular votes.

To solve this self-destructive stalemate, they’ll pick someone who denies even being a candidate, the least-worst candidate, somebody hardly anyone can really object to, except the Clintons.

They’ll pick one of their own superdelegates, Al Gore, Mr. Party Elder, Mr. Nobel Prize, Mr. I-Got-Screwed-Out-of-Victory-Last-Time and Mr. Trust-Me-the-Globe-Really-Is-Round-and-Warming and I’m finally gonna get a chance to do something about it from the White House.