[Live from St. Louis Airport]
William Walsh, you are a douche, sir. You wife goes missing and you stand up in front of the cameras begging and crying for help to find his missing wife.
“I miss her more than anything,” he said, noting her dedication as a teacher. “She loves her children. She wouldn’t just leave them. Something had to have happened.”
No shit! Something did happen to her, you douche, you killed her.
Enjoy the rest of your life in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
p.s. Douche…
Somebody needs to get fired….
I hate the f’ing squib kick.. Always have. Stupid Ass Bears played like crap yesterday, but when it mattered they stepped up and drove down the filed to take a one point lead with 11 seconds left to go.. Game over.. Right?
WRONG
The F’ing squib kicked it and gave Atlanta the ball on like their own 45 yard line or something then all they had to do was throw some medium pass and BAM, they are in field goal range and kick the winning kick.. Game over.. Some turd Bears coach costs them the game.
WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT!?!?!?!?! They have a kicker who has kicked a 65 yard field goal… The bastard can kick.. why would you stupid squib kick it???!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!
I’m pissed as hell, and I HATE THE GODDAMNED SQUIB KICK… IT IS SO GAY!
I had the feelings suppressed, for months it ate away at me. Instead of talking about it… instead of working through my feelings, I instead buried it down deep inside of me, hoping to never think of it again.
Then the season premier of South Park came along, and with it all those feelings came flowing back.
A friend of mine was raped, and I did nothing about it. I kept quiet.. but no longer.
George Lucas and Steven Spielberg raped Indiana Jones this summer. I knew it at the time but chose to bury those feelings. However Matt Stone and Trey Parker made me remember with the season premier of South Park on Wednesday.
Wednesday night’s South Park outing pushed the envelope and then did all kinds of god-awful things to it, with a recurring joke in which uberproducers George Lucas and Steven Spielberg repeatedly – and in the style of some classic film scenes, a la The Accused and Deliverance – sexually assaulted an unwitting Indiana Jones.
Haha, holy shit was that one of the funniest episodes I have ever seen. Not only was it kick ass funny, it was 100% true. Aliens? Seriously? Indy hides in a refrigerator at ground zero of a nuclear bomb test, and the refrigerator is thrown like miles through the air and lands and he comes out unharmed? Seriously? At the time I just let is all slide. It was a new Indy movie, it was all I could think about… but no longer….
You #$%^& raped him George and Steven!!! I won’t stand for it anymore!! Actually, throw Harrison Ford in there too for agreeing to that god awful script.
What’s also great is Comedy Central is owned by Viacom who also own Paramount Studios. Paramount owns Indiana Jones. They were unaware South Park was going to unload on them.. Muhahaha. Suck it Paramount.
Long live South Park, and long live Indina Jones 1-3. I will never own or watch the 4th.
From what folks have told me, and from what I’ve read, history was made last night… Worst. Debate. Ever.
Duh, I could have told you that.. it’s down to two bumbling idiots who have more in common then there are differences. Which is good as neither one will f*ck things up too much. (We’ll leave that up to Congress and their 7% approval rating.)
It reminds me of the Futurama Episode “A Head in the Polls” where the head of Nixon runs against two clones for President of Earth… Transcript below..
[One of the candidates, Jack Johnson, begins the debate.]
JOHNSON
It’s time someone had the courage to
stand up and say: “I’m against those
things that everybody hates”.
[The other candidate is John Jackson.]
JACKSON
Now I respect my opponent. I think
he’s a good man but, quite frankly,
I agree with everything he just said!
FRY
These are the candidates? They sound
like clones. Wait a minute. They are
clones!
LEELA
Don’t let their identical DNA fool you.
They differ on some key issues.
JOHNSON
I say your three cent titanium tax
goes too far.
JACKSON
And I say your three cent titanium
tax doesn’t go too far enough!
FRY
If I were registered to vote, I send
these clowns a message by staying home
on election day and dressing up like
a clown.
There you go! Follow Fry’s advice!
Here is a clip from that episode… I know a few people who would be interested in joining the ‘Dudes for the Legalization of Hemp’ party.
Remember the old days when all we had was NBC, ABC, CBS? (I realize you young bastards probably don’t remember that…)
Well I do, and this time of year really sucked ass in the old days.. A presidential debate would be on and your night would be ruined!!!
Not tonight baby, debate starts at 8, so I can watch NCIS at 7. (Some folks can watch House also on at 7) Then take a break, play with the kid, put her to bed, then watch ALL NEW SEASON PREMIER OF SOUTH PARK!!!!!
Woo, new South Park tonight baby!!!! Long live cable TV!!!!
Ahoy matey!! Hijacker Somali Pirates: We’ll Fight to the Death Before Surrendering to U.S., Russia
MOGADISHU, Somalia — A group of Somali pirates who have hijacked a tanker loaded with military supplies say they will fight to the death before giving in to Russian and U.S. authorities.
The superpowers have been unable to end the standoff and remain concerned that the ship’s cargo of 33 tanks and other weapons could fall into enemy hands.
Argh, I can’t believe there still be pirates in the waters….
“If we are attacked we will defend ourselves until every last one of us dies,” Sugule Ali, a spokesman for the pirates, said in an interview over satellite telephone from the ship.
Woah… Wait? The pirates have a spokesman? Seriously? That takes away a lot of the street pirate “cred”. Just like there is no crying in baseball, there are no spokesman in pirating.
You don’t see quotes like this: “The financial crisis has had a big impact on our bottom line,” said Abe Blackbeard, Pirate accountant. It’s because you can’t be kick ass pirates if you have spokesman and accountants..
Wussy pirates are not cool. They are starting to let me down.. I used to favor them over Ninja’s. But now I think Ninjas are on top!
Oscarlina (You heard it here first! The combination of Oscar and Angelina.) Oh yeah, my sweet sweet Angelina Jolie, the greatest, and hottest actress to ever grace the big screen. EVER!
The Great One is out, along with director Clint Eastwood, pimping their new movie Changeling. It is suppose to be super awesome with an Oscar worthy performance from Oscarlina.
Angelina Jolie says she was immediately sucked into the script for her new movie, “Changeling,†but the intense subject matter was almost too much for the actress — enough for her to consider not making the film.
Angelina, who looked stunning in black Versace at Saturday’s New York premiere, told Access Hollywood that the script for the Clint Eastwood-directed film about a child who has been kidnapped was quite a page-turner.
“When I first read the script I couldn’t put it down,†the actress told Access.
Though engaging, the movie’s dark subject matter frightened the mother of six.
“It was a film I didn’t wanna touch because I didn’t want that around me, I didn’t want the thought of kidnapping or anything happening to my kids,†she said.
I totally see where she is coming from. I hate watching shows that involve kidnapping, and if sweet sweet Angelina wasn’t in it, I probably wouldn’t be going. But I have a standing rule that says I must see any movie she has a major role in. It’s a rule, and if we don’t follow rules we have chaos, folks.
Also it starts Jeffrey Donovan, who starts as Michael Westen on USA’s Burn Notice. I have a non-sexual crush on him, so that’s another reason to go.
Check out the Hitler Obama Youth.
Poor kids, putting hope in a politician. They will only know disappointment.
Get Rid of Etholnol Subsidies, please. McCain is for it actually, and has been for a long time. Obama, unfortunately, is not. Obama’s national campaign co-chair is Tom Daschle, the former Senate majority leader and longtime ethanol booster. Daschle serves on the boards of three key ethanol companies.
Corn Ethanol is a joke, they say it drives up the price of food. Next time you are at the store, check out the ingrediants of, well, just about anything. In it you will find plenty of high fructose corn syrup.
Ironically, the wailing about man-made greenhouse gas emissions completely ignores the fact that ethanol actually contributes more carbon dioxide to the atmosphere while, at the same time, decreasing the mileage per gallon of gasoline.
Yep, it pollutes more, and it lowers your M.P.G. Most folks do not know that little fact. Don’t even go near E85. That will kill your gas stats.
Classic video. Douche and Turd. One of my favorite South Park episodes.
The episode came out before the 2004 election. South Park Elementary had to pick a new mascot and Cartman and Kyle got the kids to write-in Turd Sandwich and a Giant Douche, respectively. The two write-ins are the top to vote getters so the election will be between a Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich.
Well, Stan doesn’t like either one and refuses to vote, which then leads to a bunch of things.. Kyle sends Puff Daddy to his house and tells him about his “literal” Vote or Die campaign. (See video below, headphones please…NSFW) as well as Stan getting kicked out of town and forced to live in a PETA camp where man and animal live together… and I mean together!
Basically, when it is all said and done Stan decides to vote. Not because he likes either canidate, but as a dude at the PETA camp tells him:
But Stan, don’t you know, it’s always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd. They’re the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics.
It’s totally true, Obama is the Giant Douche, and McCain is a Turd Sandwich. What’s funny is the people who put their hopes in one of these two. I can’t imagine volunteering my time for a national political candidate. Going as far as to donate money? It’s unfathomable.
I hate to break it to you, but if your life sucks right now, it’s going to suck after the election. If you have a good life now, it will continue that way no matter who wins.
The choice of diapers you pick for your kid will have 100000 times the impact on your life then who sits in the White House. It’s better to get involved in local politics. You can have far greater impact at the school board or city level then sitting around wasting your time thinking some joker in Washington is actually going to have an impact on your life.
I’ll also add running for State offices to the local list. They can have a direct impact on your life as well. Those guys/girls can work pretty hard for little reward.
Anyway, enjoy the video and remember to vote for Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich.
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