[Live from St. Louis Airport]

William Walsh, you are a douche, sir. You wife goes missing and you stand up in front of the cameras begging and crying for help to find his missing wife.

“I miss her more than anything,” he said, noting her dedication as a teacher. “She loves her children. She wouldn’t just leave them. Something had to have happened.”

No shit! Something did happen to her, you douche, you killed her.

Enjoy the rest of your life in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

p.s. Douche…