Check out the Hitler Obama Youth.
Poor kids, putting hope in a politician. They will only know disappointment.
October 6, 2008
Ethanol Needs To Go
Get Rid of Etholnol Subsidies, please. McCain is for it actually, and has been for a long time. Obama, unfortunately, is not. Obama’s national campaign co-chair is Tom Daschle, the former Senate majority leader and longtime ethanol booster. Daschle serves on the boards of three key ethanol companies.
Corn Ethanol is a joke, they say it drives up the price of food. Next time you are at the store, check out the ingrediants of, well, just about anything. In it you will find plenty of high fructose corn syrup.
Ironically, the wailing about man-made greenhouse gas emissions completely ignores the fact that ethanol actually contributes more carbon dioxide to the atmosphere while, at the same time, decreasing the mileage per gallon of gasoline.
Yep, it pollutes more, and it lowers your M.P.G. Most folks do not know that little fact. Don’t even go near E85. That will kill your gas stats.
Vote or Die!
Classic video. Douche and Turd. One of my favorite South Park episodes.
The episode came out before the 2004 election. South Park Elementary had to pick a new mascot and Cartman and Kyle got the kids to write-in Turd Sandwich and a Giant Douche, respectively. The two write-ins are the top to vote getters so the election will be between a Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich.
Well, Stan doesn’t like either one and refuses to vote, which then leads to a bunch of things.. Kyle sends Puff Daddy to his house and tells him about his “literal” Vote or Die campaign. (See video below, headphones please…NSFW) as well as Stan getting kicked out of town and forced to live in a PETA camp where man and animal live together… and I mean together!
Basically, when it is all said and done Stan decides to vote. Not because he likes either canidate, but as a dude at the PETA camp tells him:
But Stan, don’t you know, it’s always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd. They’re the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics.
It’s totally true, Obama is the Giant Douche, and McCain is a Turd Sandwich. What’s funny is the people who put their hopes in one of these two. I can’t imagine volunteering my time for a national political candidate. Going as far as to donate money? It’s unfathomable.
I hate to break it to you, but if your life sucks right now, it’s going to suck after the election. If you have a good life now, it will continue that way no matter who wins.
The choice of diapers you pick for your kid will have 100000 times the impact on your life then who sits in the White House. It’s better to get involved in local politics. You can have far greater impact at the school board or city level then sitting around wasting your time thinking some joker in Washington is actually going to have an impact on your life.
I’ll also add running for State offices to the local list. They can have a direct impact on your life as well. Those guys/girls can work pretty hard for little reward.
Anyway, enjoy the video and remember to vote for Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich.
This Nuke Is For You!
Check it out.
Nuclear engineering programs at universities nationwide are brimming with students eager to break into what they see as a growth industry.
This rebirth of learning comes after a decades-long slump that prompted many schools to scale back nuclear engineering programs and some to close altogether. Some experts worry whether enough new workers can be trained in time to support the potential growth.
Nuke and clean coal baby. Europe already does it, why can’t we?
September 16, 2008
Big Hitter, The Lama!
Dalai Lama in da house!!!
The 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet has accepted an invitation from UNI [University of Northern Iowa] to visit campus for a day of celebrating education and the pursuit of knowledge. UNI is working with the Dalai Lama’s North American Representative to secure a date.
I’d like to go and see if I can get a hold of some of that deathbed total consciousness stuff!
September 12, 2008
Lou Lumenick is a Douche!
Lou Lumenick is a movie critic for the NY Post and is also a proud member of Dorf’s Douches. Yes, this turd got all pissy at a movie and assaulted poor Roger Ebert. For those who didn’t know, Roger Ebert has been been battling cancer and in the process lost the ability to speak. His view of the movie was being blocked by this cockface Lumenick who was leaning into the isle way. Ebert politely tapped this turdburger on the shoulder, prompting LumenDICK to freak out and yell, “Don’t touch me!”
After the third tap, LumenDick got up and smacked Ebert with the big festival binder, which freaked out the entire theater.
According to the New York Daily News, soon after the film started “a man in the audience started yelling, ‘Don’t touch me!’ People looked around and shrugged. Ten minutes later, the voice yells again, ‘I said don’t touch me!’†Then a few minutes later “the guy stands up in the darkness and thwacks the guy behind him with a big festival binder. He hit him so hard everybody could hear it. Everyone freaked out and turned around.†For those who don’t know, Roger Ebert can no longer speak due to his battle with thyroid and salivary gland cancer. Apparently Ebert couldn’t see the screen and tapped Lumenick’s shoulder in an effort to get him to move his head a little.
What a turd eating douche bag.
August 31, 2008
Promoting Mediocrity: Little League Edition
This makes sense… Nine year old kid pitches too fast, he should be banned from playing little league.
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Nine-year-old Jericho Scott is a good baseball player — too good, it turns out.
The right-hander has a fastball that tops out at about 40 mph. He throws so hard that the Youth Baseball League of New Haven told his coach that the boy could not pitch any more. When Jericho took the mound anyway last week, the opposing team forfeited the game, packed its gear and left, his coach said.
Waaaaaaaaaaaa, take your ball and go home, babies. Suck it up.
What I don’t get is that I don’t think 40 MPH for a 9 year old is that fast. This league must be the worst league ever.
August 14, 2008
Wind Turbines Are Evil?
It can cause sleep disorders, difficulty with equilibrium, headaches, childhood “night terrors” and other health problems.
Yes, I’m talking about wind turbines. Or at least that’s what Dr. Nini Pierpont says.
Dr. Nina Pierpont of Malone, N.Y., coined the phrase “wind turbine syndrome” for what she says happens to some people living near wind energy farms. She has made the phrase part of the title of a book she’s written called “Wind Turbine Syndrome: A Report on the Natural Experiment.” It is scheduled for publication next month by K-Selected Press, of Santa Fe, N.M.
Is there some merit to this? I have no idea. I’m not a doctor and I did NOT stay in a Holiday Inn Express Last night. Could be a case of NIMBY, I dunno….
August 12, 2008
Dorf Smash: Deer Edition
So, I went up to our main office in Madison, Wisconsin yesterday. It was a long day. Left around 6AM, arrived a little after 9. Was there until about 7PM and then headed back. It’s a pretty easy drive actually. It’s 4 lane the entire way back. Well I was cruising right along on Highway 20 just outside of Independence and all of a sudden *SMASH* I crushed a deer and I was going about 65 MPH at the time.
Now, my trip was short notice so I didn’t have time to get a rental car so I took my Explorer up. Well, as you can see from the picture below, I nailed that bastard pretty good on the passenger side corner of the vehicle. For going as fast as I was, I am pleasantly surprised at the lack of damage caused. She may not get good gas mileage, but that Explorer can take a beating and come out OK.
If you look closely you can see some deer flesh. Mmmmmm, deer flesh.
July 3, 2008
Then They Came For Your TV
For shame people, for shame!! That fancy pants LCD or Plasma TV you bought is KILLING THE EARTH!!!! I’m not making this stuff up.
A gas used in the making of flat screen televisions, nitrogen trifluoride (NF3), is being blamed for damaging the atmosphere and accelerating global warming.
Almost half of the televisions sold around the globe so far this year have been plasma or LCD TVs.
But this boom could be coming at a huge environmental cost.
The gas, widely used in the manufacture of flat screen TVs, is estimated to be 17,000 times as powerful as carbon dioxide.
Have a heart, you earth-killing bastards. Actually, with the government getting rid of the analog airwaves they are kinda forcing people to look into upgrades… Yeah, I blame Bush. Haha.